Missing Persons Report: Rivers, S J (Miss)
Police Report
Shannon Rivers was last seen on the night of October 10, coming out of Ray’s Bar and Grill, at the junction of Orchard and Main, she flagged down a cab, being driven by Theodore K Bliss who swears, on oath, that he dropped her at her residence at 10758 Laurel Canyon Road! Bliss further states that Miss Rivers appeared in a medium state of intoxication, and that she kept talking about how she’d be cuddling up with Thor that night, and what the heck did vets know anyway! Miss Rivers was wearing a red knee length silk dress and four-inch matching heels, which were later found scattered in the lounge, along with a matching pair of underwear consisting of red bra and panties, thereby suggesting that Miss Rivers slept in the nude that night (for further info on this, read the statement from Richard Woodley)!
On later inspection of the residence, the Sheriff’s Department concluded that no signs of a struggle were present, and apart from the bedsheets being in a rumpled state, as they are when people toss and turn during the night, nothing gave cause for alarm!
The following statements were taken during the investigation into the whereabouts of Miss Rivers!
Witness statement #01
Statement taken from Raymond Barron
Owner of Ray’s Bar and Grill,
On the night of 10 October, I was behind the bar at Ray’s Bar and Grill, and Shannon Rivers was drinking from 9:30 pm until she left around 11pm. I’d say that yes, she was somewhat lightly intoxicated, but I’ve seen people in worse condition! Anyhow, she got into a bit of a quarrel with her latest boyfriend Brad Jordan, but it wasn’t too wild! She left first but Jordan stayed until I closed up at two a.m.,and that was the last time I saw her!
Witness statement #02
Statement taken from Richard Woodley
Veterinarian
Laurel Pet Hospital, 41157 Santa Jacinta Boulevard
Studio City
I have worked as a Veterinarian Surgeon at the Laurel Pet Hospital for the last 12 years, specializing in the treatment of reptiles of all shapes and sizes! I last saw Miss Rivers on 8 October at her property to examine her pet reticulated python, who she said appeared sickly, and not eating anything she offered him! Because of the weight of the reptile, which weighed approximately 200lbs and had grown to 21 feet in length, it was decided that I would come out to her, with the mobile unit, which I parked as close to the house as I could, due to the size and weight of the reptile! My assistant and myself between us managed to get the animal, which the woman had named “Thor”, into the unit and gave it a thorough examination. Miss Rivers was in attendance all through the procedure, asking questions, and taking it all in!
She is a pretty young woman, very slightly built for her age, in fact you could easily mistake her for being in her late teens, instead of her early thirties! She’s 5’6” and 105 lbs
After examining Thor, which included a CT scan, and x-rays along the whole length of the animal, I came to a horrifying conclusion, and called Miss Rivers over to give her the news!
“As I understand it, Miss Rivers, you allow Thor to sleep on the bed each night.”
‘Why yes Doctor, I sleep naked and Thor keeps me safe, curled around me on the bed!
“Well Miss Rivers...Shannon, on thorough examination of Thor, I found that his stomach was completely empty! Now hear me Shannon, the only reason his stomach is empty is because he is preparing for a big meal… YOU! The only reason he sleeps draped over you is because he’s keeping you within reach, and one night soon, he’s going to satisfy his hunger! Please Shannon, take my advice and get rid of him! I can euthanize him right now, I have the equipment outside!”
She looked at me, tears in her eyes, ”No, not Thor, he wouldn’t harm me, he loves me, and I love him, I feel safe when he sleeps with me at night!”
“I’m imploring you Shannon, get rid of it before it gets rid of you!”
That was the last time I saw her! At the height and weight she was, that snake would have had absolutely no problem in swallowing her alive!
Witness statement #03
Statement taken from Lois Randolph
27511 Hickory Drive, Laurel Canyon, CA
I last saw my sister on the afternoon of 10 October! We were having a late lunch in Ray’s Bar and Grill! Unfortunately, we got into an argument about that damned snake she keeps in the house! I said I’d never set foot in her home, as long as it was still there! She got up and stormed out, and I ain’t never seen her since!
Witness statement #04
Statement from Brad Jordan
at Golden State Body Shop and Repairs
10795 Kirkwood Drive, Laurel Canyon, CA
I’ve been seeing Shannon Rivers for the best part of two years now, and the last time I saw her was on the night of the tenth! We were having a drink at Ray’s, and she’d had a few when I got there! We shot some pool and danced for a bit ,and all the while she was slurring her words! I told her to lay off the booze, but she told me to stop preaching to her! She grabbed her purse and around eleven she was in a cab, and going home! On my honor, I ain’t seen her since!
(Jordan passed polygraph)
This ends the selection of statements
Laurel Canyon Sheriff’s Department
0937 am Thursday 13 Oct
(telephone rings)
SD: Good morning, Sheriff’s Department, how can I help?
Caller: A snake, a goddam giant snake is in my back yard, it’s laying by my back door, I can’t get outside!
SD: Ok Sir, just calm down please and give me your address,
Caller: 10756 Laurel Canyon Road, and please hurry, my wife and children have locked themselves in the bedroom, hurry for pity’s sake!
SD: Don’t worry Sir, a car has been dispatched, he’ll be there soon!
Caller: (phone clicks off...!)
SCENE: 10756 Laurel Canyon Road, 1017am, back yard
In attendance: 2 Sheriff’s deputies, 1 Fire truck ( 6 firefighters), 1 Animal Hospital unit: Richard Woodley and Aaron Turner
Deputy 1: Well Doctor, whaddya think
Woodley: I can confirm that this is the snake belonging to Shannon Rivers!
Deputy 2: Where IS she then?
Woodley: (pointing at snake) If I’m right, we’re looking at her!
Deputy 1: Whaddya mean, Doc?
Woodley: “I warned Miss Rivers, three days ago, that her snake had been fasting for a month, to completely empty its stomach, in order to devour her sometime soon! I implored her to get rid of the beast, I even offered to euthanize it there and then, but she refused! Looking at the snake, I’m going out on a limb and state that sometime during the night of 10/11 October, Shannon Rivers was sleeping naked on her bed, with the snake wrapped around her. The snake then opened its jaws and took her head in its mouth! As her head disappeared into the throat, mercifully she would have suffocated within six minutes, that’s why nobody heard her agonised cries for help and was dead, while over the next thirty minutes her body was slowly worked down inside the reptile until she was deposited in its stomach! Once there, its powerful digestive acids went to work, reducing her flesh and bones into mush, absorbing all of her nutrients into the snake’s body. Shannon is now part of the snake! Of course this is all pure conjecture!
Do you see that pile of fecal matter? I’d guess that it’s all that remains of Shannon Rivers! There are some small items laying there, including some teeth, hair and ear studs! We’ll need to bring in her sister, to make some DNA comparisons, but I’m 100% sure that Shannon Rivers has been killed and digested by the snake!”
The snake was quickly put to sleep, and transported from the site, and incinerated! The DNA test results came back positive, proving that the teeth and hair WERE a match for Shannon!
The Los Angeles District Coroner has decreed that the mystery surrounding the disappearance of Shannon Rivers is now closed!
DISCLAIMER: The above story is purely fictional, but is based on events which DID occur in the USA in 2017! However, the woman listened to the vet, and survived to tell the tale
UPDATE:
What really happened at 10758 Laurel Canyon Road, 10/11 October!
Shannon closed the street door after her and poured a double shot of JD, “How dare Brad talk to me like that! Fancy telling me to get rid of Thor! As if I’m gonna do that, and that bitchin’ animal doctor telling me that Thor is planning to eat me! The both of them are wrong, why would they say such things?” She hurriedly stripped off and in a drunken stupor, staggered over to her bed and fell naked onto it instantly falling into a deep sleep!
One hour later, Thor shifted his position, draped as he usually was over the naked form of the drunken woman, who lay in an untidy heap on the bed, and with over 200lbs of snake resting on her, wouldn’t be going anywhere, anytime soon! Thor’s stomach was rumbling with hunger as he stared at the only possible source of food available to him, he made his mind up and slowly advanced on Shannon, who was unaware of the fate which now advanced towards her!
Thor slid around and over the sleeping woman and took up a position from where he would launch his feeding! Shannon was very slightly built, standing at 4’ 8” tall and 110 lbs dripping wet, but she had C cup breasts, which made her popular! Thor was going for a feet first attack, and the only difficult part to overcome would be the hips, but Thor would face that problem when he got there! Shannon was a petite woman, in that she measured only 15 inches across the shoulders, meaning that Thor’s maximum jaw opening of 14.5 inches would make it a bit tight for swallowing, but it could be done! Once her shoulders were inside the snake’s mouth, that would be the end for Shannon, and no amount of struggling would save her!
Thor pushed the woman’s legs together and, opening its jaws, quickly took the two limbs into its mouth. No sound issued forth from the sleeping woman and the snake was soon up to the knees. The absence of movement from Shannon gave Thor an encouraging sign, and he continued swallowing the biggest meal he’d ever been given! As he got to the junction where her legs met he stopped for a while and his tongue probed inside her labia! A low moan escaped from Shannon, but still she did not awake, apart from shifting and allowing Thor to swallow her backside! Soon her waist was taken in, and Thor slowly advanced on the two rounded globes of her breasts! These proved no problem, as neither did her hands and arms, which were even now disappearing into the maw!
The end soon approached, as all that was left of Shannon was her head! At this point, the sleeping woman awoke with a start, and beheld the awful sight in the bedroom mirror, her beloved pet Thor, was eating her?
“Nooooooooooo!“ she screamed, and struggled inside the huge reptile, which only urged the huge animal to finish its feeding! Shannon’s life finally came to its unhappy end when Thor’s jaws closed over her head, and with one last gulp, she was gone! Her petite body soon arrived in Thor’s stomach where after ten minutes, Shannon would have felt the tightness increasing, as the digestive muscles were distended in preparation for the digestion process to commence. Soon the acids began to wash over the by now dead woman turning her once lovely body into mush as the nutrients were absorbed into the snake’s body, any waste would in time be excreted by the reptile, who wouldn’t need feeding for at least three months!