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Storycodes: FM+/m; capture; cage; prepare; oven; roast; cook; eaten; nc; XX
The Gourmet Club - An Evangelical Meal
Danny Potter, was born at dawn on born March 15, 1980. When the Doctor spanked his baby butt to get him breathing Danny's baby screams could be heard throughout the one story hospital. “He's going to be a fine preacher,” so said his mother, along with his father who were day laborers. They were both fervent participants in the local Assemblies of God congregation.
He was a very good boy but when he reached his teens Danny joined his cousin in rebelling against their religious environment by frequenting local rhythm and blues clubs, where they quickly gained reputations for their piano playing ability.
Over the next few years, he struggled with the demands of his family's fundamentalist Pentecostal faith, his love for music and loyalty to his cousin. Finally he abandoned his pursuit of a musical career, deciding instead to dedicate his life to the church.
There was only one long standing argument between him and his parents. They wanted grandchildren but he couldn't seem to find the right God fearing woman. The women he met always seem to fall short of his high morals.
In 2002 he started the Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church. Under his ministry the church grew fast so they had to move to larger accommodations.
One Saturday “Did you hear, Rev. Potter put his parents into an assisted living home instead of keeping them at home.”
“Why would he do such a thing? Those people deserve to be in their own home.”
“He is an important man. Maybe he's married and she made the demand that his parents had to leave before she would enter the house.”
“Maybe but if that's what he's doing why didn't he find a wife on here?”
“He might be looking for a woman as moral as he is. Remember he tried to find one here but didn't succeed.”
The Reverend Danny Potter did come back with a wife, the former Ms. Jane Mildred Flowers now Potter. That Sunday they walked down the middle aisle of his church. Danny walked straight down the aisle looking at his beautiful dark wood panel pulpit.
Jane walked two feet behind him with her hands at chest level crossing at the wrists holding a Bible. As she walked her eyes would dart to the right looking at the people then back again to her new husband's back. Then her eyes would dart to the left looking at the people then back again. She didn't seem to hear the people saying how pretty she was.
Reverend Potter walked up the steps and when he got to the top he turn to face his parishioners. When Jane walked up she tried to go to her place sitting in a chair that was next to her husband's chair. However he stopped her and asked her to face the parishioners.
“Yes dear,” so soft that the choir master could barely hear the words. Jane turned around and looked out at all the people looking back at her.
He stepped to the pulpit, “You all may be wondering why I placed my dear parents into an assisted living home. They understood that I need a home of my own and for my new wife, ladies and gentlemen this is my new wife Mrs. Jane Mildred Potter. She formerly of the Flowers from the Bible Belt down south.”
Jane stepped forward and people clapped and said hello. She smiled and nodded her head.
Over the years, Danny Potter became more conservative. He wrote for the local paper and started sharing his particular religious and political point of views on the local radio. Soon the major TV stations started broadcasting his sermons and speeches.
Early in 2004 he caused a stir when he questioned the sexuality of a character on Teletubbies, a children’s television program and warned parents against letting their children watch the show.
In 2004, on a Sunday, his first marriage anniversary, Danny Potter spoke from the pulpit. The subject of the sermon was What cause the Terrorist to Attack on September 11th terrorist attacks. As usual the sermon was broadcast over the major TV stations. One paragraph would cause him trouble.
Looking down at his notes then up at his parishioners then at the cameras Danny told them why September 11th happened. “I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen..'"
The TV were flooded with phone calls, twitter, and emails. They were all from angry people who were insulted by his statement each would person in their own way would say how dare he say that the ACLU or People For the American Way etc.
“Please Danny you have to apologize, look at the letters and the email. We have news cameramen on the lawn.”
“Jane, you know how I feel about this, they were involved I believe it.”
“You don't have to tell everyone what you believe. They will think you're a fool if they don't already. . .”
Danny slapped her so hard that she fell against a nearby table which stopped her fall. Jane slowly stood with tears flowing down her face and her right hand rubbing her cheek.
Danny came to her, “Jane, Jane I'm sorry. This misunderstanding is upsetting me. I didn't mean to take it out on my loving wife who only wants the best for me.”
“It's okay Danny you're just tired.”
“You're right Jane I think I'll go to bed early. Oh, I forgot to tell you I invited the some of the officials to dinner tomorrow night. I told them what a good cook you are.”
“I wished you had told me sooner, I'll do my best.”
“That's my girl I knew you wouldn't let me down.”
* * * *
“We have to get rid of him, Danny Potter is an embarrassment to the Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church.“
“But Rev. Potter founded the Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church!!”
“We know but he is humiliating the church!!”
The sound of a gavel echoed in the room. All of them became silent.
“We are in agreement Rev. Potter needs to go. I have a suggestions, I found this ad and made copies please take a copy.”
Each took a paper. Then each returned to their seats and read the paper.
Date of Birthday: DD/MM/YY
Height: Metric Optional
Briefly describe condition of Livestock Applicant:
Briefly describe reason for submitting this application: (If involuntary applicant, person(s) nominating applicant to fill in this section. This section may be completed by submitting a separate document)
LIVESTOCK TERMINATION PREFERENCE(S): (Check all applicable)
( )LIVE ROASTING IN OVEN
( )LIVE BUTCHERING
( )LIVE SPLIT ROASTING OVER FIRE
Signature of Applicant and/or Person Nominating Applicant
“Where did you get this application?”
“It was mailed to me by my cousin. My cousin said that this was real and he knows the one who hands out the application. I believe him.”
Kerry Ann looked at the stationary that came with the livestock application.. It read Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church.
The note said “Dear Ms. Franklin: This is real and not a joke. We swear to God.” It was signed The Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church Five.
Then she looked at the application.
Name: The Rev. Danny Potter
Date of Birthday: 15/03/80
Height: 6 feet
Live Weight: 171 pounds
Briefly describe condition of Livestock Applicant: The Rev. Potter is healthy, he is active in the church and he exercises by walking throughout the neighborhood.
Briefly describe reason for submitting this application: (If involuntary applicant, person(s) nominating applicant to fill in this section. This section may be completed by submitting a separate document) The Rev. Potter is an embarrassment and he humiliating the Church. He also is physically abusive to his wife.
LIVESTOCK TERMINATION PREFERENCE(S): (Check all applicable)
(X)LIVE ROASTING IN OVEN
(X)LIVE SPLIT ROASTING OVER FIRE
Signature of Applicant and/or Person Nominating Applicant The Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church Five.
“I remember when he made the statement the about pagans, the abortionists, and the others were the cause of 911. At the time I thought something should be done about him.”
She stood and paced. Knowing that he was a religious man Kerry Ann thought maybe she could get him to come. But how to trap him was another story.
Then she thought of the statement and decided to get him come down to talk. She phoned Carol to tell her and Pete about the shipment of Long Pig.
* * * *
Danny was seating in his desk going through the mail when he saw Kerry Ann's letter. He drank some coffee before opening the letter.
Dear Rev. Potter:
I remember in 2004 you saying ““I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say 'you helped this happen.'"
I totally agree with you. I and some friends wish you would visit us and we can talk.
Kerry Ann Franklin
Danny was pleased that someone agreed with him. He was angry that he had to apologize on TV for something he believed in. He wrote back,
Dear Ms. Franklin
I'm pleased that you would like me to speak to you and your friends.
Here is my phone and you can call so we can make the arrangements.
Rev. Danny Potter
Kerry Ann smiled as she read the letter. She too had to make arrangements for his coming.
* * * *
“Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church, How may I help you?”
“I would like to talk to one of the Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church Five please.”
Silence, Jane's eyes widen and she quickly looked around to see if Danny was there. She knew or at least hoped that no one outside the five of them knew that it was her cousin that sent the application.
“Please don't worry, this is Kerry Ann Franklin. The Livestock Application is mine.”
Jane slowly sat in her husband favorite chair. She place her forehead in her left hand and sighed.
“I'm one of the Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church Five. I was hoping that the application wasn't a joke.”
“It isn't my dear. In the reasons you gave was that he was an embarrassment and he is humiliating the Church. He also is physically abusive to his wife. Does he hit you a lot?”
Jane was beyond being surprised. “At first it was a slap across the face then it was worse. He hits me where no one can see. At first I believed that I wasn't a good wife but then one of the others saw me crying and I told them everything. They told me that it wasn't my fault that it was Danny's fault.”
“They are right it's not your fault. I have already contacted your husband and have invited down here to speak to me and my friends. I have another question in the section Livestock Termination
Preference(s) all of them were marked. Have the Five chosen which one they wanted?”
“Yes, after we sent it in we decided on Live Roasting in Oven.”
“Would the Five want to watch?”
“I don't think that is a good idea for them but I want to watch as he cooks.”
“I can understand. I'll call you later when I have everything scheduled.”
“Thank you Ms Franklin I'll be waiting.”
Jane quickly hung up because she just heard the door close. She picked up the duster and continued cleaning the office.
Carol, Pete, James, Paul, Chief Davis, Sam and Glen were sitting at the tables of the Gourmet Club. They were all waiting for Kerry Ann who had been talking in the phone.
The talking stopped as she walked toward the tables. They waited drinking either water or coffee, Chief Davis on his third.
“Well this time we have an Evangelical Long Pig.”
“I have a Barbecued Pulled Pork Sandwiches recipe that I've been wanting to try.”
Everyone laughed. Then they turned back to Kerry Ann.
“I have invited him here to talk about who caused 911.”
“I'm looking forward to his speech.”
Again everyone laughed. “Kerry Ann, how are you going to handle him once he gets here?”
“I'm not sure, but I'm open to suggestions.”
“Does he drink?”
“Not when he's on a trip.”
“I did research on him, he does have an ego. Maybe I could ask him how to handle my wife?”
Pete ducked and smiled as Carol took a playful swing at him. “What do you mean handle your wife?”
Pete laughed “Carol, you know what I mean. Kerry Ann I could ask him to met me in the Slaughter House where everyone would be waiting for him.”
“That might work Pete. However, Carol may want a word with you after the meeting is over and you still may end up getting cooked so be careful..”
Everyone saw how red Pete's face was and laughed harder. He smiled and reached for Carol's hand, she squeezed his and and smiled back.
* * * *
“Rev. Potter how may I help you?”
“Hello Rev. Potter this is Kerry Ann Franklin.”
“Oh Mrs. Franklin it's good to hear from you. Have you decided when you want me to speak?”
“Yes, I and my friends are having a meeting in five days. Can you arrange to be there?”
She heard the sound of paper being moved. “Yes, that is a Tuesday. I can be there. I'll have someone else give the sermon Sunday. Do you mind if I bring my wife, Jane?”
“No bring your wife I'll be happy to have both of you.”
“Good then it's settled. Just give me the address and we'll see you then.”
Kerry Ann give him the address and then hung up. She phoned the others to tell them that it had started.
“I know, he told me about the speech he's going to make and I'm coming with him.”
“Yes, it's better that he thinks it's his idea for you to come. He won't think anything is wrong until it's too late.”
“I've told the others. I've also decided that I'm not returning here, I don't know where I'll be going but it's not here.”
“That's understandable. See you in five days.”
* * * *
The Motel room was ready when Rev. and Mrs. Potter arrived. The Clerk give Danny a envelope with his name on it. When they got to their room he used opened it.
“Dear Rev. Potter
I am glad you and your wife have arrived safely. I will meet you tomorrow. The Grub Steak Cafe is a good place to have dinner and breakfast. See you after breakfast tomorrow.
Kerry Ann Franklin
Next morning as they were eating breakfast Kerry Ann came over and sat. One of the waitresses came over, smiled and gave her some orange juice.
“Good Morning Rev. Potter, Ms. Potter, it's so nice to have you here.”
“Hello Ms. Franklin you have a beautiful town. When do we meet your friends?”
“Danny, honey, she just got here.”
Jane snatched her hand off his arm as he turned to look at her. Kerry Ann saw his austere holier-then-thou, her cringing and hated the man.
“That's all right Ms. Potter. My friends are anxious to see you. I still have a few things to get ready which will be about an hour. I'll then call and tell you. I then have Chief Davis come for you.”
“That is fine with us. This food is delicious.”
“I'm glad you like the Grub Steak. See you in about an hour.”
An hour later the phone ran, “Hello Ms. Franklin. Yes I'm ready, my wife isn't coming, she'll be doing some shopping. She had heard this sermon many times and Jane decided to go shopping. Yes I'm looking forward to meeting Chief Davis, see you when I get there.”
Turning back after hanging up the phone. “Now Jane you can shop for just a few things. We have to drive back and we don't have much room.”
Rev. Potter rode up front with Chief Davis. Danny was going over his notes and sermon as they drove though the country from town to the Gourmet Club.
When the car stopped Danny looked up and then around. His eyes widen as he saw eight people waiting for him.
“Hello Rev. Potter, everyone is here except two people. Would you like something to drink before we get started?”
Pete brought him a Coffee Alexander. Kerry Ann introduced them to the rest of the group.
“I usually don't drink on trips but in this case I'll make an exception.”
“Rev. Potter these are Frank and Mary Williams, they are the parents of our missing member Carol Williams-Wilson. The next one is James he built my outdoor oven and the rotisserie pit you see. Beside him is Paul he helped James build the Rotisserie pit. You've met Chief Davis, these two are Sam Stevenson and Glen Post deputy. The one that brought you the drink is Pete Wilson Carol's husband.”
“So your wife is the one we're waiting for, whose the other one.”
“A guest, would you like another Coffee Alexander?”
“Thank you I will.”
Pete returned with another one. Kerry Ann showed him around and then they sat waiting for Carol and the guest.
As they waited Danny was feeling sleepy. He stood and walked around trying to clear his head.
“What's the matter Rev.?”
“The sun is warm and making me feel sleepy.”
“If you like I can call to see whats keeping them?”
Just she was walking to her house when Carol drove up. Jane Potter was in the passenger seat and she was looking at her husband.
Kerry Ann turned to James, Paul, Sam and Glen gently walking Danny Potter toward the Slaughter House. Chief Davis and Frank Williams walking ahead of them to open the door, Pete was bring up the rear.
“Hello Mrs Potter. Don't worry, we are taking care of him.”
“Will you roast him now?”
“No he has to be cleaned out, which means no food and two liters of NuLYTELY Solution.”
“I heard of NuLYTELY Solution. It cleans out the inside. How long will it take?”
“I usually like to take two days sometimes I do a little longer just to be sure.”
“Can he escape? If he does I don't know what will happen to me. Like John Hancock my name was first on the application.”
Carol, Mary and Kerry Ann laughed. “Don't worry we will have guards every time we give him the solution.”
“Good, I want him to know what Hell is like when someone else is in control.”
When Danny awoke he found that he was naked and in a cage. He looked around and was shocked, it looked like he was in a butcher shop.
He turned as the door opened. Kerry Ann and his wife walked in.
“Jane, get me out of here!!”
“No Danny an embarrassment, humiliating the Church and your physically abusive to me!! I'm going to see you roast before long and I'll enjoy myself too.”
Danny got down on his knees. “Jane you know God wanted this marriage...”
“No!! God didn't want this marriage you did! You just wanted someone to control because the church was making demands on you and your ego was hurt when you had to apologize for that 911 statement you made!”
“It was and is true! The pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. They. . . “
“Shut up you Bastard!!! They had nothing to do with it!! It was the evangelicals fanatics like you that caused it!”
Danny got to his feet, his eyes were wide and his mouth was open. No one ever talked to him like that before!
“Now listen meat, yes meat. You aren't human any more you are just meat. You won't be receiving any more food the only thing you will be receiving is two liters of NuLYTELY Solution. So enjoy your time here because it will be short. Come Jane you can stay with me until the time comes for you to decide what you want to do after this thing becomes a meal.”
For the next two days they had to force Danny to drink the solution. Each time he was given it, James and Paul held him and Pete held his nose so he would swallow.
During the same to days, Kerry Ann prepared the outdoor oven and Carol helped prepare the ingredients. Jane helped Carol in the kitchen.
“Carol I want to thank you for allowing me to help here in the kitchen.”
“It was that bad.”
Jane lowered her head then just nodded. She didn't want to think about her life after she married Danny.
“What will happen to the Meat?”
“The Pig will be trussed up and placed in the pan. I'll watch as it cooks and then Kerry Ann will carve the meat. I'll, with your help, fix the rest of the meal. Of course, Kerry Ann helps out in the kitchen when I need help.”
The day came and Kerry Ann need all the help she could get. Danny was fighting and it took all the men to help her to truss him up.
“None of you will get away with this abomination!! The Police find out and all of you will be arrested for murder!!”
One of the men walked around to face him. “The Police do know Long Pig. I'm the Police Chief.”
Chief Davis held Danny's nose and when his mouth was opened he stuffed a aluminum ball into Danny's mouth. The aluminum ball was big enough so he couldn't get it out of his mouth.
Six of the seven men carried the pan. Frank Williams opened and shut the door to the Slaughter House then they walked to the tables.
Kerry Ann, Carol and Jane were waiting near the oven. They watched as the men walked slowly to the table nearest the oven and set down the pan.
Jane looked at Danny his eyes begging her to help him. At first she was tempted to stop this but then she remembered the beatings he gave her and how she pleaded for him to stop.
“I am not going to help you. In fact I'm going to enjoy the Barbecued Pulled Pork Sandwiches that you will make after you have been cooked.” Then she got close to his head and whispered in his ear. “Danny there is place in Hell for people like you.”
She stood and returned to Carol's side. She smiled as Kerry Ann opened the oven door she then stepped back and they watched as the pan was lifted into the preheated oven.
Carol coated the entire piece thoroughly with Worcestershire sauce. The door was closed, Jane stood looking through the glass watching Danny fighting to free himself. Carol touched her shoulder, Jane smiled and walked to a table where drinks were being served.
Danny was growing tired of fighting against the trussing. He was able to see a little out of the corner of his left eye. He thought he saw Jane watching him then walking away.
“Why,” he thought. “Why would she do this to me? I was a good husband to her. No one else would marry her she was just a plain Jane.”
Each man there noticed how relaxed Jane was. How beautiful she looked in the red pantsuit she was wearing.
At 4 PM they took the Long Pig out of the oven and let it rest for a for a half hour. Everything was ready when Kerry Ann started shredding the meat.
As they were eating Chief Davis sat beside Jane. “Mrs. Potter what will you do now?”
“Please call me Jane and I'm not sure.”
“I'll call you Jane if you call me Jim. I can make a report that he is missing. You'll have to wait for a while before he's declared dead unless Kerry Ann can think of something.”
“I can wait Jim. I can stay here and write to the Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church that he is missing. No one needs to know what really happen not even the Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church four. I can tell them that the application was a joke played on me.”
Carol was listening, “Jane you can help me at the Gourmet Club in the kitchen. I'm sure that Jim would love that.”
The Police Chief did a unPolice Chief thing by sticking his tongue out at Carol. Everyone laughed.
Two weeks later bones were found in the woodlands outside of town. It took awhile but they were identified the bones of Rev. Danny Potter.
The Baptist Bible Pentecostal Church hired a new Pastor and decided to take care of Rev. Danny Potter's aged parents. They were never told of his disappearance and death.
Jane Potter stayed and became the assistant cook for the Gourmet club. After a proper period of mourning of a week Chief Davis started dating Jane.